Anxiety

I have some issues. I don't like small spaces, I don't like crowds, I don't like to get dirty or have things around me unorganized. I constantly count my teeth and count syllables in words, I don't like to step on cracks, I will stop there, but know those are just a few of the things on my very long long long list. Well last Sunday we got a new Bishop in our ward. No big deal right, well until tonight. I have spoken 3 times in the past 2 years in our ward, and Bishop Jolley said he would give me a break and not ask me to speak again. Well the new Bishopric did not get that message and they asked Sam and I to speak on Sunday. I have a HUGE fear of public speaking and hundreds of eyes staring at me! I have an anxiety attack every time I am asked to speak. I have said no ( a couple of times) but a friend of mine that is now 2nd counselor asked me and I couldn't say no. On top of that we have 3 kids! 3 kids who love their parents. How are we going to be the main focus of the room and not have them screaming wanting us? We have a plan for the kids, but that on top of itself is giving me to much anxiety to think about. Oh and, we have to choose our own topics!!!!!!! Could this get any worse? Yes it can, cause in a few months we will be asked to speak in our new ward!! Maybe I will just save my talk, then at least I wont have to stress about writing a good talk again so soon!!