In about 6 months it will be time for us to start applying for jobs. Sam has started looking at places to apply. If you apply at more places you are more likely to receive an offer right? So Sam is searching for everything!! A friend of his in another chamber in the same courthouse told Sam that his clerkship would be open and that Sam should apply. It would be for an appellate court which means not much except it would get us a 50K signing bonus if/when he signed with a large firm later on. Sounds great right, except we would be in South Bend FOR TWO MORE YEARS!! It was the first time in my life I had a suicidal thought. Never threw my divorce or growing up with my mom being sick did I ever think death would be better than living, but I CAN NOT do 2 MORE years in this horribly cold, snowy, isolated place!! I signed up for 3 years for Law. Then I had to resign for 2 more years for this clerkship but every time I saw the end in sight and knew going back to Arizona was within my grasp. But if we keep agreeing to more years it is only a matter of time BEFORE I AM STUCK HERE FOREVER!!! It is not our only option, and Sam agreed to apply to everything every where, but I told him that if he stays here longer that he could send us postcards. I stay in this house all day every day with 3 kids. I always fall into depression during the winters here. It happens every year but It is really starting to effect me. I cried when Sam told me about the possibility of staying her. We have to have a job so a job anywhere is great, but Sam might have to visit me and his kids at my folks house when he has a long weekend!