Adversity Talk

This is the talk I gave in church yesterday and some people wanted to read it. The best way for me to share this was posting it to my blog that I haven't been to in over a year!

 When writing this talk, I knew we were assigned this topic strictly for our own personal gain. But I had at least a dozen people at church yesterday tell me that this talk was just for them and how much they appreciated my boldness. I hope it sincerely helped them and hopefully you can get something out of it as well! Enjoy!




So getting started, we were asked to speak on Adversity.  The very simple definition of adversity is difficulties or misfortune. Each person's success and happiness, both now and in the eternities, largely depend on his or her responses to the difficulties in there life.

Adversity can be categorized 3 different ways. Some may be caused by our own actions and sins. But Sadly, Not all adversity can be controlled. Adversity may sometimes come because of someone else’s poor choices and hurtful words and actions. Suffering may also come through a loving Heavenly Father as a growing and learning experience.

For each trial requires a different response.

For example, people who are stricken with illness may simply need to be patient and faithful. People who suffer because of others' words or actions should work toward forgiving those who have offended them. 


If a person's trials come because of disobedience, he or she should correct the behavior and humbly seek forgiveness. These trials can be avoided through righteous living.  Other trials are simply a natural part of life and may come at times when people are living righteously.

When adversity comes as a result of the acts of others, we often can’t do anything to change it. But that doesn’t mean there is no solution. The commandment to forgive the offenses of others was given as much for the welfare of the injured party as for the benefit of the person being forgiven. Anger, bitterness, and vengefulness are more hurtful to the person harboring them than to the person who did the hurting. Unfortunately, some members of the Church have allowed their testimonies of the gospel to be shaken by the painful, adverse experiences of life. But the example of Christ makes several things clear.

 First, since Christ was perfect and committed no sin—but still suffered. it is clear that adversity and suffering are not always the result of our own sins.   Through his crucifixion was grossly unjust and completely unjustified, Christ’s attitude toward his tormentors was, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34.)




When some people face adversity, it can be easy to complain and become bitter.   It can overtake their vision, absorb their energy, and deprive them of the experiences the Lord wants them to receive. Realizing that adversity can include suffering, destitution, affliction, calamity, or disaster, how can we best use it as an opportunity for personal growth and development? Those who yield to adversity become weaker. To the valiant it is a stepping-stone to increased power.

 The prophet Alma taught, “Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day” (Alma 36:3).

Adversity will surface in some form in every life. How we prepare for it, how we meet it, makes the difference. We can be broken by adversity, or we can become stronger. The final result is up to the individual. Henry Fielding said: “Adversity is the trial of principle. Without it, a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not.” 


Difficulties can be a valuable tool in our pursuit for perfection. Adversity need have no necessary connection with failure. Proper self-management and self-discipline in all of our trials brings strength. If we are prepared, we can meet life’s challenges victoriously. We become His disciples when we continue faithfully under all circumstances—including suffering and tragedy.



Usually there are no easy answers to most of our problems. Each individual must think, plan, work, and pray to find the help he needs and the courage he must have to conquer his problem or carry his cross. Winners set achievable goals day by day. Their plans consist of things that can be done, not what can’t be done. They remember that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the power of love and of a sound mind.

I mentioned earlier in my introduction that I moved here because I was running away from home. When I was 19 I met this man and we were married in the Temple. Immediately after we were married, he became abusive, something I never expected. After 3 months with this man, I decided I couldn’t live like this. But I had been sealed to this man and had made covenants with my Heavenly Father; something I knew was very serious. I agonized over the decision. I prayed all the time about what to do. I searched the scriptures desperately seeking guidance about whether I should stay with my new husband or leave. It was the most difficult time of my life. One day, while I was driving home from work, I had this feeling. I felt “If you’re going to leave, leave now.” I felt such a relief. There is no doubt that the Spirit was leading me. I filed for divorce and moved out, expecting that afterwards, the Lord would make things alright for me.  At first, it was difficult to see how that could happen. My friends not only abandoned me, they gossiped about me and turned against me, siding with my ex-husband. I couldn’t even tell them what had happened because they would not listen. I soon turned away from the church because it was filled with people who judged me as unworthy. My life was full of pain, and in an effort to ease that pain I made poor choices that only led to more pain.

One day, a friend of mine said she was moving to Arizona and that I should come with her. The next day, I packed a bag and headed west. It changed my life. Not only did the gossip and unfair judgment stop, but I soon found friends who led me back to church where I was able to repent and bring my life back into harmony with the gospel. I could already see the Lord blessing my life as I made the right choices and sought to bring Christ’s Atonement into my life.

When I decided to go back to church, the Lord opened doors for me. I eventually met my husband, who was teaching Sunday school in my ward. I also gained a stronger testimony of my Savior through studying the scriptures and attending the temple. I felt the Spirit in my life in a way that I had never had before. The adversity I faced was difficult, but as I relied on the Lord, the blessings I received made the trials seem so small in comparison. While I can’t say my life has been perfect, it has been filled with joy and peace. I would not trade that peace for anything.








*** closing
Christ’s suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross is only part of the story. He was resurrected, his wounds were healed, and he lives triumphant in peace and glory. Each of us who sincerely strives to live the gospel has the same promise.
Scripture, history, and personal experience all confirm that adversity is a part of life. Apparently it is an important and useful part, because few people escape it, and God makes no excuses or apologies for it. Fortunately we are not asked to understand, justify, or explain it, We are only asked to endure it and learn from it.

If adversity comes as a natural consequence of our own actions, with the Savior’s help, we are able to correct it through a process of repentance. If it comes through the action of others, we may not have any control over it, but a Christ like attitude of forgiveness can help to soften its emotional toll. If it comes about as an unavoidable, natural occurrence, it is important to recognize that no one is to blame, to accept it as a part of life’s experience, and to try to learn and grow from it.

Individually, we should thank God for the examples of those around us who battle and conquer daily challenges that are intense, real, and continuing. There are some people who may seem to have more than their share of trouble, but with God’s help they are made strong.
Satan wants us to feel unequal to our worldly tasks. If we turn to God, He will take us by the hand and lead us through our darkest hours.
To these truths I leave my testimony of the healing power of the atonement, the unconditional love from my Heavenly Father, and that this is the true gospel on this earth. In 1 Nephi 11:17 it states “And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children: nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”. I know there will be adversity and hurt in my life but through this gospel I can have eternal happiness if I rely on my faith and the love of my Heavenly Father.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.







Cliff diving

Do you ever feel like you are standing on the edge of a cliff and it is falling out from under you and you can't move and the more you try to move the faster the rocks fall out from under you?   I feel like that is the story of my life for the past 9 months. Pity Party is now over.

snacks

So if you are diabetic, lactose intolerant, and anemic, what snacks would you eat? Yeah, I'm drawing a blank as well! And I could sure use a snack!!! I have eaten so much humus and veggies lately, it is literally coming out my ears. Having so many restrictions on food and yet you have to eat every 2 to 3 hours is really starting to get annoying! But if you do have a suggestion I would love to hear them!!!

Millionaires

Sam and I pay over $1000 a month in school loans. We have paid that amount for over 2 years. For those of us that are not so great at math, that's a lot of money!! That's a brand new car, a down payment on a house, or at least we wouldn't have any credit card debit. I am sure in 20 years I will be glad we went to law school, but right now, yeah, not so much!!

One year older and much wiser

I had a birthday yesterday. I turned 29. My whole life I saw 30 as being OLD and not for me! Well I am down to counting days instead of years to when I am "officially" old. I still pass for a 20 year old so I guess if I actually looked my age, this would be much harder. I do have some goals to achieve before I reach 30. Get out of debit, buy my first house, and fall in love with my husband as often as I can. He truly is my best friend and if I get to spend my life with my Simmy, I can handle 30. I also want to get a dog. I feel once we have a dog and a house, I will truly be a grown up. Wish me luck!

Where to start....

    So it's a new year and I had my last day at the bank in the first week of January, because Sam started at a small firm in Mesa January 2nd!!! We are so glad to have things back to the way they should be! Mommy at home and Daddy working his tail off! 6 weeks later, Odi still asks me everyday if I am going to stay with her! I think she was really suffering and she herself didn't even realize it. It was a hard adjustment coming back but we figured it out. I missed the bank for a while. I missed my friends I had made. I still miss them but I don't miss my kids anymore and that is a fantastic feeling!  As for Sam, I think he is relived to pass the stay at home parent role back to me. No offense to Sam, but he wasn't good at it! I am better at home and he is better at making money!!!! He isn't making very much, but it is enough to get some unpaid bills paid and hopefully get caught up on credit cards and thanks to his folks we have no rent!! We hope to be on our own soon, but it is a huge blessing to have his folks open their home to us wild and crazy and rather loud bunch! I did get a calling into Young Women's in church. I gave my first lesson this past Sunday. Everyone was crying at the end. I either did really bad, or really good??

    Piper is still thriving in school. She comes home with 100% on every paper but did recently realize that boys can be mean. A bunch of boys in her class told her and her girly friends that they were ugly and losers. I told her boys will probably by mean for a couple of years. She said that was just silly. I agreed but boys will be mean stinkin boys! I know I got 2 of em!

    Thaddeus is learning to write his name and reading small words and doing simple math. It is slow but with all the other kids and his lack of concentration he is doing well!

     Odi is completely and fully potty trained and we have only had 3 night time accidents in 2 months! She is also learning to write her name and will call herself Princess Odessa and is always always in a princess dress up dress!

     Ace is Ace. He is a handful and gets into everything. l He loves to run into the street and bark at dogs. He says "Mom" and the phrase "I want that" Seriously, no words but phrases from that boy! He is a character and a half and loves trying to be just like his 3 older siblings! He loves his Momma and doesn't let me leave the room without him, EVER. If I do run away and hide he will go to each room yelling "Ma, Ma" till he finds me. But it's worth that 5 seconds of aloneness cause when he does find me he gets a huge cheesy grin and runs to hug me! He is a pill  but a pill I love taking!

     And then there is #5. If this is news to you, good. We haven't told anyone really. By the time you have #5, people stop giving congratulations and give you dirty looks! Sam and I are thrilled!! It isn't exactly ideal timing but we haven't planned any of them yet, why start now! We don't have any insurance so I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm only 25 weeks!! I know I know I should be on insurance the 1st of March and have an appt March 4th to see a doctor. I have done this enough and my labors are so fast I can do it myself  I'm sure. Sam could help! Sam has a brother that is a doctor, we can ask him to assist! (just teasing!!!! kinda)

       We could use some help in the name department though. We have an adorably cute and fitting girl name, but since we have a girls name it will be a boy and we are completely 100% at a loss for boy names. We need something that will fit with the rest of the names and is still cool and unusual enough to be awesome without being weird! So throw em at me if you got them!!! 

  

It's been tooo long

I don't have time (obviously) to post right now, but I did want anyone who still checks my blog to know that we are alive and I will be posting soon! I PROMISE! I have a lot to update everyone on!

BDp2

My fantastic mother in law Kadell got us all free tickets to go see Breaking Dawn the Saturday it came out in theaters! I LOOOOVED IT! It was even better free!!!

Silly Acey

We got Ace out of the tub and got a diaper on him. I then left to go get Piper in the shower and would come back and finish dressing Acey. Well.... I guess he wasn't done with his bathe and dives back in. Only once he got in, he was mad about it? Go figure?

My kids are so weird!






Most embarrassing moment ever

    So Sam got a new calling as Ward financial clerk. He is busy on Sunday now. I was asked to meet with the bishop Sunday after church while Sam was busy. OK no big deal. It wont take but one second for him to give me a calling and be on my way so I took all 4 kids with me. Well it turns out to be a temple recommend interview and since I have been working, but kids have been acting out a little.

     Well in the middle of the interview my kids start jumping off the chairs, screaming and running in circles and start coloring on the dry erase board. I tried to ignore him and pay attention to what I was being asked but it got insane. The bishop then asked what my schedule was like during the week and I said I work 8 to 6 everyday at least 5 days a week, and most weeks 6. He said that my place is in the home and he didnt want to give me a calling right now anyway.  He sent me on my way and I take my crazy children running out of the church. I go across the street, to where we live from the church, and burst into tears as we enter and yell at my children to get to the beds immediately and not to leave them till I say. That of course makes them all start to cry. I then go to my room, collapse on the floor and ball my eyes out for a good 2 hours.

      I am not talking about tears slowly coming down my cheeks. I mean convulsions, throwing up and a whole box of tissues! You might be asking yourself, "Why in the world would I react in such a way?" Well let me tell you. Since I have started working, I have the guilt on me for leaving my children when they need me. I know I have to leave the house so I can provide food and the essentials to life and that is the true definition of being a good mother. Making the necessary sacrifices so my kids can have a good life.  But they are unhappy, and acting out and just not doing the things I have always expected and demanded from them. Like being reverent at church. Sam is more laid back and isn't as strict about things as I am. And it definitely  showed in the bishops office.

       The only thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a good mommy. And my only fear when I grew up was to be a bad Mommy. Well my fear was finally slapped in my face in front of the Bishop on Sunday. I have never been more embarrassed than I was in the Bishops office on Sunday. It's bad enough to realize you're a bad Mommy, but even more heartbreaking when someone you respect witnesses and realizes it at the same time.  I have been physically sick since. My body aches, I have had  migraines and I can't eat. All my kids today said how much they loved having me around and playing with them since I didn't work due to Veterans Day. Piper cried when she went to bed cause she didn't want the day to end and for me to go back to work tomorrow. Of course, like always, I cried with her.

      I am trapped between a rock and a hard place. I can't quit. We have to have the income til Sam can bring some in, but is it worth my kids pains and my heart break? I have always felt like I could be a better mother, but I have never once felt like I was a bad Mommy til yesterday and it was seriously the worst day of my life. And I have been threw some pretty bad horrible terrible things in my life. I have been up happy in Arizona, pretty much since the day we arrived. It wasn't quiet as glamours as I was hoping.

      I lost my own home, my income, my freedom, my privacy, and my kids when we moved here. I pray everyday something will happen. I guess keep praying??

Mommy DAY!!

 Acey squishing his nose! 
 My boys!
 And my pretty pretty girls!
Since we don't get to see each other to much and I had the day off from "Veterans Day" we had a "MOMMY DAY" today and we went and bought everyone their "winter jackets" and played in the park, and went to a book store, and went to lunch and pretty much ran them dry til they were all to tired to even eat their dinner! IT WAS A SUCCESS!!

Weird sittings

One Saturday we saw a bunch of weird things. After a while I started to take pictures of them. 



We saw a yard sale and they had everything!! Even the kitchen sink! Literally!

Then we saw this huge dog and this itty bitty dog running the neighborhood! I wish I would have taken pictures of the weird things all day!!! They got better and better as the day went on!

Halloween

I know Halloween was a while ago but working 50+ hours a week leaves little time for blogging. Anyway, stop complaining and just enjoy the pictures!

 We went to a family party the weekend before. Piper was a fairy princess, Thaddeus was a cowboy, Odi was a ballerina and Ace was Super man ( He had an "S" onsie and a cap on) Sam was Thor (obviously) and I went as Jane foster.
 The day before Halloween, Sam and the kids carved their pumpkins while I was at work. Odi screamed when she put her hand in the pumpkin and it go all gooey. Piper was better. She cleaned it out but did it with the most disgusted face! The video was hilarious!

 Pipers was Minnie Mouse. Odi's was just a happy face and Buds was a Ninja Turtle! Sam did pretty good huh?
The actually night the kids went to our wards trunk or treat. I got off work mid way thru and was able to join them for a little while before it was bed time!  Only ON Halloween, Odi was Little Miss Muffett and Bud was Spiderman. And yes it was warm enough for Acey to be in a sleeveless shirt and not be cold AT ALL!!

Need a good laugh??

Sam gearing up for Halloween!

Just a couple of girls

 playing barbies. Oh wait.....
 There's Acey!

Miss Odes

She is hugely into babies! I asked her what her name was today cause I could tell she wasn't being "Odi" She said "My name is Mommy, and this is my baby" I love that she pretends to be a "Mommy".She was doing her babies hair even though the baby has hard hair. 

Odi is also pottied trained. She still has poopy accidents, but is improving. I bribed her with candy every time she went. I bribe her every week with candy to go to nursery at church also. Do you think I will pay for all the candy bribes later?  Nah, I'll worry about that tomorrow.

Working Mom

It was my first day of work and Sam made me take a picture. I am just so glad he did!!! 
( yes, that's sarcasm! )

Messy Baker

Sam wanted to surprise me with my favorite treat when I got home from work, PUMPKIN COOKIES! I got home before he had them all made and saw that he was cheating and had some help! It was so cute!

 He kept trying to stick his finger in when we weren't looking. We would say "AAAACE". He would pull his finger back real fast and smile at us! 


 Doesn't he look like a big helper!?


 We gave him a spoon to help mix with. He loved it! The mess was totally worth it!

Dancing ..... KING?

Sam had the music on in our room one morning while he was working out. If Ace hears music he will come running and start shaking everything his Momma gave him!



video

 I am really going to miss being around and witnessing all the cuteness. I know Sam will not take pictures like I do. He says "Lets ruin the moment by taking a picture instead of enjoying it" What a jerky thing to say huh?! I agree! 

Sorry to put a downer on the post. So, to cheer you up, go watch the video again! Makes me laugh every time I see him shake it!